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Managing adrenaline flow when anger and anxiety are in an all-time high throughout an unavoidable situation is akin to riding the rapids. You attempt to remain afloat. Anger and anxiety both fueled by adrenaline are useful for short-term emergencies but are quite destructive and unpleasant long-term. In fact, adrenaline affects exactly the same regions of the mind as alcohol, undercutting the ability to see options, see other points of view, make effective decisions, and concentrate concerning the consequences of your actions.
Anger and anxiety won't go away until you effectively deal with its source. You might be trying to control too much. Anger may precipitate an aggressive approach whereas anxiety is avoidance. Meanwhile here are a few strategies in working with this monster. Some options involve coping with anger or anxiety until issues can be resolved. These skills ought to be practiced prior to being angry to lessen reactivity. To make it easier to remember we can take an "ABCDE" approach before the adrenaline metabolizes.
Acceptance of anger or anxiety itself. Acceptance isn't resignation, it's living in reality. Anger or anxiety signals a need. The question is how you can meet that require. Pick your battles, using your energy for the best outcomes. Acceptance also acknowledges a realistic look at what you feel beneath the anger or anxiety. It includes mindfulness: awareness of one's feelings, thoughts, and sensations without reacting or judging them. Emotions may then inform but not determine one's actions. Acceptance includes a recognition that a couple don't have to agree to make agreements. In other words, other points of view don't have to threaten your personal view.
Breathing techniques, like inhaling an expression used to calm and focus, as with self-coaching. An example would be inhaling what "I will" and breathing out "be okay." Or inhale "This too" and breathe out "shall pass." Others use "belly breathing": deep breathing using your diaphragm. Your stomach should extend when breathing, and never your chest. Others inhale through the nose and out with the mouth. "Combat breathing" involves breathing in for four counts, holding for four counts, breathing out for four counts, holding for four counts, and repeating.
Calming techniques employ the five senses to unwind your body. Attractive to the sense of touch involves soothing sensations that lead to muscle relaxation, a feeling of sight using visualization of beautiful scenery or desired outcomes, or using pleasing or relaxing sound, aroma, or taste. Sometimes lowering stimulation in a single of those areas is much more helpful.
Distraction, including something that effectively holds your attention for a while until the adrenaline can metabolize.
Expressing anger or anxiety appropriate to your desired outcome. An example could be to state "I feel _____ when you _____" and then suggest a request. It is a request; no one has got the right to control another. Requests can be negotiated, a treadmill may have to take action to safeguard oneself. How will you allow it to be okay in the here and now?
How do you know when you're calm? You could do this a "prefrontal check." This is actually the area of the brain that's active in the following tasks:
Am I in a position to appreciate another's point of view? Can I see the consequences of my actions? Can I believe of a quantity of choices to solve the issue?
Taking breaks during the day to meditate or practice acceptance, breathing, calming approaches or healthy distraction, and then using assertiveness (versus aggressiveness or passiveness) can work. It is a skill that should be developed with time.
